To Fill Some Space

Well, I’m currently working on a review post that I really, REALLY want to get up, but it’s not quite ready yet.  I’ve decided that I just need to sit down and write whenever the mood strikes me, so that’s what that post is all about.  Something that got my mind working so now I’m writing about it.

I’m starting to come to the realization that I don’t post that often because I feel like I don’t get things done fast enough.  For example, when I was trying to write about movies, I was trying to write a post and get it loaded to the web all within one day.  If I didn’t get it done on one day, I didn’t think it was worth it to finish writing it.  So basically, if I started something and couldn’t finish it before I went to sleep it was a failure and therefore abandoned.  This is definitely a really good window into my life.  I like having ideas, I like implementing them but I have this thought process that it’s gotta get DONE DONE DONE!  NOW NOW NOW!!  Oh I didn’t finish it, well then it’s not worth the effort I already put into it.

This is how I write papers, clean the house, hang out with friends, etc.  I’m trying to teach myself to take things step by step.  I can’t write a good post in one sitting.  It’s just not going to happen.  In my heart of hearts, I really want to give something 3 sessions before it’s finished.  So I need to write a first draft, edit it and then polish it.  But at the same time, I know that I have to get everything done quickly before I get bored with the topic and move on.

Eventually I’d like to apply these thoughts to writing more regularly on the blog.  Since a week is 7 days I think a good goal is to write at least one post a week if not two.  That give me 2 days to draft, 2 days to edit and 2 days to polish every week and then one day to blow off.  I think I need that blow off day.

Actually, thinking about that blowoff day makes me wish that weekends were 3 days all the time.  2 days just isn’t enough.  I always blow off Saturday and then when Sunday rolls around I don’t want to do anything because I don’t want to squeeze my weekend chores into one day.  Anyone else out there want 3 day weekends to be permanent?  Man, that would be sweet.

So really, this post is about wanting to fill some space but it’s not my polished post either.  And my polished post really will go up (or Saturday because let’s face it, tomorrow is Friday and I have to work late on a Friday which really sucks) because I’m proud of it.  I think both of these posts are good first steps.  And I’m writing again.  Which is quite alright with me.

Altering Plans

After about three days of trying to keep up with one very large and very important goal (exercise) and one very important very simple goal (writing), I’ve decided that trying to develop two habits at the same time is probably not the best way to go. When I was thinking of habits I wanted to develop, I thought that two would probably be too much, but I was ambitious – there was a brand new year staring me in the face, how could I not be? – and I took on what I now think was too much at once.

On Friday I did some serious thinking. My health really needs attention. I am not saying that I am sick or unhealthy, but I am certainly suffering from the “newlywed/new job/major move 40″. I have put on what I consider to be an unacceptable amount of weight and although I weighed less last year, I was certainly not living a healthy lifestyle and I have wanted to change this for several years now.

So, after thinking about it, I decided that health is what I need to focus on for my first habit. That means that my “pack your gym bag” habit will be the main focus for my first 30 days. I feel that I am being successful with this so far because I have already managed to go to the gym about 3 times in the past week which is a very good start, especially for me.

Writing is still a very important goal to me (I definitely feel that need to write on a regular basis and I really enjoy writing) so it will be my second focus this year. I want to develop my writing habit very badly, but I really need to develop healthy exercise and food habits now while I am still young so that I have many more (healthy) years in which to write. It is a sacrifice not to focus on something that I want so badly, but I can’t allow myself to be sidetracked or overwhelmed or I will fail at both. I still plan to write, but it won’t be the stringent “10 minutes a day” I had previously decreed. For now, until my health habit is strongly in place, I will just write what I can when I can.

I am hoping that I can create a new habit every month, but I also do not want to be too ambitious. I want to make sure that I feel very secure in my habits before I move on to the next one. I have a total of 12 habits I would like to build this year, but I think if I can just build 5 good habits this year, I will be successful.

I have created a Joe’s Goals page and will be putting a tracking chart on my main page so feel free to check back and see how my progress is going! Wish me luck

The Power of Less Challenge

Leo Babauta the writer of Zen Habits, The Power of Less and some other blog I think I’m forgetting has issued a challenge to his readers.  He has set up a forum for us to hold ourselves accountable to start a new habit for 10 minutes a day.  The brilliance of this challenge is that we are only going to work on it for 30 days (for now) so that whatever we want to do will become a “habit”.

I’ve already headed on over to the forum and posted my personal goal and in the process picked up a second (but I vow not to take on more than that because I don’t want to be overwhelmed and then feel guilty).  Part of the challenge is encouragement to publically commit to our goals.  This is something that Leo has done and he raves about the positive support he gets from his readers.  I am hoping that any of you out there will be encouraged to take up your own challenge and to help me complete my own!

My goals:

1) Set up gym bag every day when I get home.  I am hoping that this simple goal will turn into a domino effect.  If I pack the bag, I’ll leave it by the door.  If I leave it by the door, I will see it on my way out every morning and remember to take it to work with me.  If I take it to work with me every morning, I will leave it in a visible place at my desk.  If I leave it visible at my desk I won’t forget to walk across the street and get some exercise.  I think I am going to put an inspirational message on the top of the bag that I will see every time I look at it and I’ve already started looking at and saving some photos that I want to use for inspiration so that I won’t forget what I am working towards.

2) Write something every day.  This may be a complete blog post, the start of a blog post, a little note in my personal journal, a made up story, anything.  I just need to get back in the habit of writing. 

Well, my timer just rang, so day one is down for habit number one!  Habit number two will begin tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

On Writing

So, this is my second post in one day.  There must be something wrong with me, huh?

Well, as we speak, there is a published fiction writer giving a talk on the floor below me.  He’s probably standing directly beneath where my desk is.  And I’m not there because I’m working and therefore have to be at my desk.

So what if I’ve never heard of this guy (Stephen Hunter, anyone read him?) or read any of his books (47th Samurai and soon-to-be-published “Night of Thunder”) but he’s a fiction writer and goddamnit, that’s just my dream job.  It would have been nice to be able to hear what he had to say about being a writer.

I’ve been trying to read more about the best ways for me to become a professional writer and almost everyone says to try and write for a local newspaper or magazine.  Gross.  That’s all I have to say.  Gross.  I do not want to write for a newspaper. It just seems so cut and dry, so fast paced, so boring. All of the journalism professionals that I work for would be hissing if they knew I felt that way. I would consider writing for a magazine because I feel like that’s more creative, but I’m still kind of on the “eh” end of that. I know as a young writer that I shouldn’t be picky, but how is someone supposed to write if they’re not inspired to do it?  

I do need to do some more research and see if there are any magazines I’d be interested in writing for.  I’m sure there’s one out there, but I’m going to play the “I’m busy card” for a couple of weeks. I’m moving on Saturday. I have to unpack.  But maybe, since I’m at least acknowledging that there is a step I can take, I will be more obliged to do it.  Wish me luck.

P.S. Does it count that I’ve started writing more? Maybe this will get me some more exposure and I’ll find my blogging “niche” and start getting readers. I need to look into blog rings/find bloggers willing to trade links.

Finding Inspiration

Today is Monday and I am sitting down and writing for the first time in a long time.  I think the last time I wrote anything was actually in January.  Whoa, it’s September.  That’s bad.  Typing that just made me realize that I didn’t graduate this year, I graduate last year.  WTF? Where did the last year go?  That is insane.  I’ve been graduated for more than a year. I need to go back to school. I just need to figure out what.  I think my current idea of going to ASU (sorry dad) for my MA in Film and Media studies will work out.  I just have to make sure we don’t move before 2009 when the program starts.

I found this blog online recently.  It’s really a round-about story, but I was playing around on YouTube watching videos of The Indigo – my favourite Japanese pop band (they’re awesome, check them out) and somehow I stumbled upon make-up tutorials for Asian eyes (which I am obviously not).  But I thought the girl was really pretty and she seemed really sweet.  She was very patient and explained what she was teaching really well.  I don’t know, it’s one of those weird connections you start to feel for people across the internets – you feel like you identify with people you’ve never even met and know nothing about.

Anyway, I looked at her profile, saw she had a blog and went to check it out.  Totally intrigued by this person. She is originally from Singapore, went to college in Abilene, Texas, she’s an English major like me, she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life…It just seems like maybe we’re going through some of the same struggles and I can’t stop reading her blog. Long story short – reading her blog has made me miss my blog, so I’m writing on it again.  I have never been that successful about writing on my blog.  I’m inconsistent and I get easily frustrated because I know nobody reads it (I don’t have any friends TO read it…man I am feeling so sorry for myself again) so I just stop because I don’t see the point.

I think it’s time to keep my blog for me. I’ve been using Twitter a lot and I think it’s super awesome.  I think the Twitter and the blog I’ve been reading are mixing together in the inspiration centers of my brain. I think I can look at my Twitter and see my little notes and jog my memory about more things that I want to write. I think it’s a good idea.  We all know how my “good ideas” work out.  Man, I have too many of those…(meaning the ones that turn into dust and blow away).

So this weekend Matthew and I are going to move into our New Apartment. I think the last time I sat down and wrote I wrote about all the promise our current apartment had.  I was sitting up in the loft – a space I’ve set foot into about…5 times in the last 8 months – thinking about possibility. Well, let me tell you.  The “honeymoon” blinders have worn off with this place. I can’t wait to get out.  The space is so inefficiently laid out that (Matt and I calculated this) we are only living in 350 sq. feet of this 1200 sq. foot apartment.  That’s it. It blows.  And we don’t have ANYWHERE to sit and eat.  Eating out of my lap got so old a long time ago. First thing I’m buying is a dining room table.

We’re getting rid of pretty much all of our furniture except for the three or four pieces that we can’t bring ourselves to get rid of.  We’re keeping the bed (of course! That thing is a sleep number; it’s awesome!!), the couch/fouton (although I think we’ll eventually replace it.  Not right away, but maybe within a year?), my japanese carved table, my japanese carved bar and Matt’s coffee table.  That’s it. We’re getting rid of the TVs too.  We’re going all out and we’re going to get a 50″-flat-pannel so tremendously awesome it melts your face TV.  We have a PS3 people – we need the HD.  I’ve heard that PixelJunk Eden looks so awesome on HD, I’m missing out.  Since we’re doing that, we won’t be buying new TVs for YEARS so this is about the investment.

The New Apartment is also awesomely close to my job. It is right on the new Light Rail line, just like work is.  I DON’T HAVE TO DRIVE TO WORK ANYMORE! It’s awesome.  Well, starting in December when it actually opens. I fucking HATE driving.  I love that I won’t have to anymore.  It’s more space than we’re living in now and I’m somewhat excited. I don’t want to move in and in 3 months hate it and want t move out like I did with this apartment. I’m working to make sure I get rid of as much crap before we move.  I hope I’m successful and I hope it works.  We just have so much crap.  I don’t understand how two people can have so much stuff. And I know we don’t have as much as some people. It’s really sad actually the amount of crap we have. It’s so sad how much stuff we have and how much stuff we want.  I fell like I always want something more, something new, stuff stuff stuff.  We need to break this cycle.  It’s bad for us, it’s bad for the environment, it’s just bad.

Well, I wrote a lot. We’ll see how well this keeps up. I hope my inspiration doesn’t run out.  I feel so down about myself when I’m lacking in inspiration.  I need to make sure I keep finding it.